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Saturday, January 22, 2005

Creepy Splendor


I’m not a fiction writer
so everything comes
from the truth within.

If my thoughts stray
to strange evil places
should I follow them
or rein them in?

I can picture anything
and everything
like an algebra problem
of objects and images.

I can place myself in
the center of wickedness
in the degrading abyss
in the filth
as though it was all academic,

but I refuse to keep
my mind as controlled
as the Old Testament
would require.

God is always
making everything new
so why not God’s nature
and commandments?

So if the thoughts come
briskly,
undisciplined
depraved
or naïve,
should I be damned?

The world is forever new
and my thoughts are forever new
and if I squelch them

then I kill any chance of
future new dreams
ahead,
and I need my thoughts
my dreams and wishes

for to deny them
in all their creepy splendor
is to deny myself.

[POsted for #OpenLinkNight at www.dversepoets.com, my favorite poetry site!]

40 comments:

  1. Certainly a dilemma for the conscience I guess and that's always a battle.

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    1. Thanks - that's always the dilemma.

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  2. I do think sometimes it is hard to govern one's thoughts, and your question regarding whether or not one should try is a good one. I think if one tries to force oneself NOT to think of a particular thing, it is more apt to push itself into consciousness. Perhaps better to give the 'evil' cursory attention and move on.....

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    1. Exactly - see it and don't attach to it -just let it flow by.

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  3. So true... it's finding a happy medium... taking the chances while following your inner voice.

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  4. agreed.... we all have our dark side, much as we like to look away. i guess i fall into the "you can't have light without darkness" school of thought.
    keep dreaming....

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    1. I see each of us as having a dark side, and then a darker side. Thanks

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  5. it makes for an interesting dichotomy...renewing our thoughts, there is def something to that...and wrestling with our thoughts...living a true old testament life would be hard...stoning people...seriously that one scripture on being damned if beaten or bruised in the testicles...anyone ever playing soccer is out...get the thoughts out...write them down and give them a healthy out...

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    1. Thanks, that's how I feel - writing saves me and it saves people my wrath! :)

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  6. I love this...we think we have to fight our mind to be peaceful but its with the appreciation and love we show our mind, our thoughts, that leads us to having ultimate domain over them with our heart. The union of the two is our truest self. ~ Rose

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    1. Thanks - esp for your insight.

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  7. This is a very good poem. It is very thought provoking.

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  8. Interesting poem about your creepy splendrous thoughts .
    What are they? Let the audience be the judge. You might be disappointed:)

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    1. I think we all have bits of creep and splendor. Thanks.

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  9. Good question...really good question. Let me know what answer you come up with.

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    1. No answers, but plenty of questions.

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  10. I love your title, and this stanza:

    "I can place myself in
    the center of wickedness
    in the degrading abyss
    in the filth
    as though it was all academic"

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    1. Thanks, I try to make the titles stand on their own.

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  11. I can spill out whatever is in me with a pen. There are so many I would like to give a piece of my mind, but it would get lost in their senseless abyss. Was that harsh? lol Yes, I have the mind battles..too often.

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    1. I agree - my pen is my voice. Not harsh at if you knew the people I knew (you probably do).

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  12. Mosk, you know what I love about this? Your style/reasoning/the way its written is like solving that math you elude to. Brilliant!!

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    1. Thanks, Amy - noe *that's* a compliment!

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  13. excellent questions and wonderful food for serious thought. Love some of the reflective lines in here, the OT allusion is brilliant. Definitely enjoyed the read. thanks

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    1. Thanks for the kind words Fred.

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  14. Isn't that the God's honest truth!

    Hey, have you seen my man Heber? Tell him I got through that Philistine's thick head. And tell him to pick up some Ben & Jerry's on his way home.

    Thanks, dude!

    Jael

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    1. Whew! You made me look up OT references! You've earned your opinion, I say! IS B&J's kosher or trafe?

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  15. Great poem, Mosk...but I really don't see the dilemma for a writer or a poet. For a poet to govern thoughts is murder. True that thoughts, feelings change...but that is a given..To reign in one's thoughts is beyondt me. Get on the horse and ride, I say..even use the spur...but reign in? Never!

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    1. Big smile - I like your spirit! Let's ride!

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  16. Hah! This is sort of the opposite of the Buddhist approach to thought and meaning. Sort of a stream of consciousness inner dialogue organized with cadence and flow.

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  17. Wow, Buddah, loved the inner debate you posed here. What I learned in parochial school was "Thinking is the same as doing." Good old Catholic guilt, the gift that keeps on giving! Truth is, life throws things at us every day, do we shy away from them, or do learn learn from them? Do we "own" our thoughts and actions and admit that we are only human? Do we go where the writing takes us, into the abyss and out again? Irregardless of where we are at certain moments in our life, I believe that in the end, its really how we live and who we are inside that truly counts. And all the rest is just words!!

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    1. "I believe that in the end, its really how we live and who we are inside that truly counts. And all the rest is just words!!"

      I couldn't agree more - thanks - el Mosk

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  18. "I’m not a fiction writer
    so everything comes
    from the truth within."

    I'm pretty much the same, so those first lines had me from the very beginning. Love the honest, inner-dialogue in this.

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    1. Thanks - I shy away from the title poet and prefer documentarian.

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  19. yes minds can be scary

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    1. "What's the ugliest part of your body? Some say your nose. Some say your toes, but I think it's your mind." - Frank Zappa

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  20. It is impossible to govern our thoughts, the arise, they pass...in one moment they are the truth as we are experiencing, in the next breath the experience changes and with it our thoughts and emotions, therefore truth shifts as well... nothing fixed or solid. The same for our reading of texts old and new, the subtleties beneath, between the words (our thoughts) transform the words written as our consciousness evolves. No need to hold restrain our thinking, however actions, that is a story all its own.

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  21. creepy splendor! hear, hear! :)
    little late getting 'round here, Mosk, but it's always worth dropping in. digin your philosophy in this one.

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