Oh, my. This leaves me a bit breathless. LOVE: "Though I ama willing slaveto gravity,I remaina wisp"
I have heard your whisper!
This is so wonderful... and reminds of:"if you love someone, set them free" by Sting
I look at gravity as a blessing. It helps me stand tall. I am also its willing slave.
Nice one! Just a thought (not even a suggestion) - I don't think you need the first 4 lines, the rest of the poem expresses everything you need, although I also realise it's a quadrille...
Oh, to be 'a flavor on the breeze'! And I love the lines:'May youcatch mein your hairand hearmy whispering plea'.
Beautiful, I love how you 'remain a wisp,a scent,a flavor on the breeze' with a powerful message :o)
I can "see" this- a hallmark of a good poem in my opinion, clarity. Nicely done!
Wonderful images in a strong wish.
earthy, lovely, inspiring.
"a willing slave to gravity" is a great line!
So many contrasts here.
We are all, we are everything, wait for me.......