"Of course, I’m playing.
The jackpot’s up
over 300 million dollars.
Only takes one ticket to win.
My numbers?
Well, I’ll tell you
five out of the six.
Ok, first is 9
because that’s how old I was
when my dad left my mom and
we had to go on welfare,
but that was good
because it made us all stronger,
so that’s why 9.
Next is 13
because that’s how old I was
when I finally
got up the courage
to tell the diocese
that the priest had been,
you know,
doing stuff to me and
they fired him,
or sent him away
or something.
The next two go together,
17 and 2.
I was 17 when I tracked down
my sister’s rapist
and beat his junk
into a bloody pulp
with my Louisville slugger,
and 2 is the number of
years probation I got.
And 25,
that’s how old my wife’s
going to be when
the baby comes out,
if everything goes
according to plan.
What?
No, I can’t tell you
my sixth lotto number.
I gotta keep a few secrets
for myself."
(Written for #OpenLinkNight at http://dversepoets.com/.)
Why can I never tell if you're writing from your life or from your imagination? Or both?
ReplyDeleteThis is strong, bold, truth -- difficult to take in.
Well done.
Thanks - your comment gave me a huge smile.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a powerful piece!
ReplyDeleteThanks - it's written in my new genre #poemonologue.
DeleteI agree with Becky. Your writing always feels authentic. And, this slaps you right in the face.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much - the worst response to my writing would be complete indifference. Yes, I need a good slap every now and then.
Deletelove this. fabulous irony.
ReplyDeleteThe reciting of the bare facts do more in this direct conversation than any amount of handwringing and pontificating ever could to make another perspective crystal clear. Terse and tight in all the good ways.
ReplyDeleteCan I just second Hedge's comment? I totally agree. This is a masterpiece Buddah! :)
DeleteChilling, spine-tingling and brilliant. I just hope this is your imagination ....
ReplyDeletedude, that was awesome! I certainly have stories behind lotto numbers I play... they wouldn't make such a kickass write tho...
ReplyDeleteNice poem! It is a very powerful, raw piece of writing. You hold nothing back except the sixth lotto number. I'm glad you leave us guessing.
ReplyDeleteThis is so original in content and form. I'd call those 5 numbers unlucky for some LOL
ReplyDeletewow...this is creative and moving and shocking and left me with a smile...awesome...
ReplyDeleteCrunch! Fact or fiction this has more bite than I can shake a stick at. Concise language means the imagery is even more shocking once it settles, and even thru the second read the goosebumps are still standing at attention...fantastic!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above--your writing always feels real and honest--this piece is raw and great--loved it!
ReplyDeletedamn man...intense...this was a little like being hit with that bat at points...symbolism to the numbers...and what you choose to be left secret leaves me wondering...my father in law loves the lotto, played it every week since it came to VA...says he broke even...
ReplyDeleteYou never, ever bore me. Creative, clever and honest. Love it.
ReplyDeletePretty intense piece, bringing some of the realities of modern day life into it. I can't even say "shocking" realities, because they all seem so commonplace anymore, but does not make them any less painful for anyone dealing with them. Anyone who's faced even one of them, much less all, deserves a luckier break in life for sure.
ReplyDeleteHow you link so many intimate and dark instances of modern life in this piece, framed by a Mega Millions jackpot, and still have a "punch line" at the end is just wonderful. Sharp stuff, Buddah!
ReplyDeleteI like the sardonic way you write...creative way to describe a life but still keeping some secrets to oneself ~
ReplyDeleteWOW.... I'm sitting stunned at this poem. Powerful doesn't cut it. WOW....
ReplyDeletesuch a creative write...was kicked in the stomach by the events holding the meaning of each number! Fantastic write my friend! ~ Rose
ReplyDeleteI can think of a million possibilities for that remaining number, but you know it won't be the right one, no matter which you choose. You win more experience, and the satisfaction of struggle. You lucky thing.
ReplyDeleteOh, man. You slay me, my talented friend.
ReplyDeleteI think you like to keep us guessing... and you do a great job of it. This is intense, crystal-clear.
ReplyDeleteIntense and powerful ! Good write !
ReplyDeleteI wish blogger had a "like" button....this one is fun, clever, all while being deep and painful. I would've loved to see the rapist get his comeupance!
ReplyDeleteIf you win, please do tell that last number! And share the joy with your other friends who "hate poetry" ;)
I wish blogger had a "like" button....this one is fun, clever, all while being deep and painful. I would've loved to see the rapist get his comeupance!
ReplyDeleteIf you win, please do tell that last number! And share the joy with your other friends who "hate poetry" ;)
r.m. @ newviewfromhere.wordpress.com
This was tough to read...not to understand, but to take in...and so well done. Don't keep the secrets...spill 'em out. We need more courageous writing like this. Good stuff here! Thank you :))
ReplyDeleteOh that is awesome!
ReplyDeleteI do hope that something good comes out of the unlucky numbers of life! A very strong write, Mosk!
ReplyDeleteyou tease and you know we're all going to play em now? lol
ReplyDeletenice investigation into the superstitious games we play -
numbers are a preoccupation of mine so i empathise with all
on a connect - such a simple device but a V. effective casing
for the tough nature of a timeline negative held up to the light
Yep. You nailed it. There's a delicious irony in the idea of turning so much pain and trouble, often unforseen, into an incredible jackpot. I love the way you are willing to walk out into that unknown territory - is this a true story, or a true story? Great writing, my friend.
ReplyDeleteThis is fucking brutal...the kind of poetry I look for!
ReplyDeletethank you for it
http://wanderwithoutbeinglost.blogspot.com/2012/03/it-takes-special-kinda-stupid.html
Wander
intense is right. the straightforward way you tell it is, for me, what really hits in the gut...
ReplyDelete