To Rachel’s Prospective Suitors

Please turn off
that clicking beeping whirring gadget
and put your eyes here.

Here’s what you need to know
before taking out my daughter tonight:

When you talk to me
please look me in the eye.
I don’t expect you to have all
the answers,
but I expect thoughtfulness.

Please pull your pants
up to your waist.
She doesn't want to see your underwear.
That stopped being stylish
around the year you were born.

If you watch pornography,
stop it.
My daughter is not to be used
as the bull’s-eye for your ejaculate,
swallower of your semen,
or fulfillment of your digitized fantasies.
If you want that,
marry her,
then that’ll be your negotiation.

You may be a player,
but my daughter isn’t a game
with which to be toyed.

If I ask you about your future,
don’t get all weirded out.
I can learn a lot about who
you are
by learning
where you’re headed.

Also,
when you take her out 
you are to be 
her unpaid bodyguard,
treating her so royally
that other women upon seeing you
should wish you were
their date.

Please
do not ask my daughter
to pay for any of the
first five dates,
and please have a driver’s license
and a reliable car.
If she wanted a child
to take care of
she would’ve had one.

I don’t mind if you have body art,
pierced anything,
earrings, nose rings,
but if it’s the first thing
I notice about you
then you’ve done something wrong.

Also, please never refer to her as
a “Bitch,” “Ho” or “Man.”

Her name is Rachel
and she is my daughter.


(Written for http://dversepoets.com/ #OpenLinkNight)