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Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Why I Probably Won’t Cry at Paige’s Funeral

Tears flowed
in abundance
last December
when I thought
of all the joyfully
purchased and wrapped
Christmas presents
that would go unopened.

Tears flow
when my soul witnesses
true altruism
and selfless love,
unmooring my cynicism
and restoring my faith
in innate human
goodness
for a little while.

Tears rained down
when my father’s
undiagnosed heart disease
made its appearance
and claimed him
only two days after
his own mother died.

Tears gracefully appear
when art
finally captures
and articulates
the formless echo
that signifies truth
and it cannot be denied.

Tears bullied
their way in
when the world
came off its axis
temporarily
in September 2001.

Tears
occasionally override
their self-restraining
autopilot
and I have learned
to surrender to their
temporary sovereignty,

but
when a beautiful
20 year-old woman
whose life promised
so much goodness
and happiness
goes into cardiac arrest
from a potassium deficiency
and never awakens
after a 21 day sleep,

I don’t have tears.

I have only
muted anger,
silent confusion,
and a modest prayer
that God
will guide and comfort
those grieving
through this inexplicable
tragedy.


[Posted for #OpenLinkNight at www.dversepoets.com - come and share your poems!]

39 comments:

  1. damn...yeah...when it happens...that a young one is cut down so fresh with promise....when my student was killed earlier this year...i felt the same...it still came as tears but dang i was pretty angry as well...felt man...understood...

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  2. Thanks, my brother - heading off to the funeral in a few... must admit I choked up a little when I googled her and found her twitter feed. Reading the posts just reinforces that she was just a happy wonderful kid - ugh.

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  3. ugh man...sending a prayer up for you...those funerals are not the easiest...

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    1. Thanks, it was a good service.

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  4. Oh, Mosk.
    Condolences, prayers, and admiration for this poignant, beautiful piece.

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  5. Thoughts and prayers are with you, brother. Elegies...death...are the most difficult emotions to convey...to commit to paper while doing justice to your emotions and the deceased. Your verse,
    ("Tears gracefully appear
    when art
    finally captures
    and articulates
    the formless echo
    that signifies truth
    and it cannot be denied.")
    captures the soul of that moment.

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    1. Thank you so much, I appreciate that.

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  6. oh, Mosk. i can definitely understand the anger... condolences to all who held her dear.

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    1. Thanks, yes, Paige was a real sweetie.

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  7. oh mosk..i'm so sorry to hear this...it's terrible and wishing you much strength for the funeral as well

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  8. Totally understandable. Some things are beyond tears.

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    1. I appreciate your kindness. Thanks, Rosemary.

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  9. So sad when the life of a young person who should have decades ahead of her so senselessly ends. It just isn't right. My condolences to you, Mosk. Hard, hard. Very hard.

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    1. Thanks, and sad doesn't begin to cover it.

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  10. I appreciate how you found a way to write about such things without being sentimental. It makes me appreciate the word "probably" here all the more.

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    1. Thank you very much. I appreciate your perspective. - Mosk

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  11. I understand all too well the muted anger and the silent confusion; still the tears itch to shed. a stunning piece.

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    1. Thanks - yes the tears itch to be shed.

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  12. This is my favorite part:

    "Tears gracefully appear
    when art
    finally captures
    and articulates
    the formless echo
    that signifies truth
    and it cannot be denied."

    What a touching piece, Mosk.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much - I don't know where that came from but I'm grateful I wrote it.

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  13. Anonymous9:20 PM

    Thank you for writing this .. .to help us when it happens in our little worlds too. hugs and prayers, poet friend .. you are a blessing.

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    1. Thanks Deb. I always appreciate your poems.

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  14. Things happen inexplicably that rock us from our flimsy foundations...and leave us speechless and tearless. You describe this so very well. There is no sense, rhyme or reason...to these events...Sorry about this young woman...a sensitive and powerful write.

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  15. When inexplicable events like this one occur...it rocks us from our flimsy foundations. This is a powerful and sensitive write.. sorry about Paige.

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    1. Thanks for your kind words, yes Paige was a wonderful young woman.

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  16. That's just incomprehensible when such things happen, and one hardly knows what reaction is coming next. I would expect tears will come...they just have to wait behind all those other emotions.

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    1. Thanks, and then they'll come at completely surprising and inappropriate times.

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  17. In your own time, your own way, you'll express your grief, once all the other emotions have subsided...

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    1. Thanks, I know you're right.

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  18. Oh yes...anger and confusion in these circumstances for sure. I hope with you for comfort for the grieving. Very well-written piece.

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  19. What a beautiful tribute to the senselessness of such things. The words you have left here, to remain forever, are your own form of tears, flowing, cleansing and letting all of those feelings go. Tears fall away and then disappear, leaving no trace that they ever existed. You have given this spirit immortality in that she will live in the minds of the reader.

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    1. Thanks Andrea, I used to be afraid of tears. Not any more.

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  20. Oh, Mosk... this really touched me. So sorry for your loss.

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    1. Thanks, Laurie. She was a good friend of my son's and I know his heart is heavy.

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