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Thursday, May 07, 2015

My Surprising, Deceased Father

My deceased father
surprises me
everyday
by where he appears.

He shows up
in the music I listen to,
in the crinkled
corners of my eye,
in my impatience
for all things
faddish,
adolescent,
transitory.

I find myself
gently surrendering
the spotlight
to the coming guard,
the reckless,
seemingly bulletproof
youth,
quietly watching
them,
like he did,
sometimes lost in
private reverie
and memories.

If my dad were
still here, I'd tell him
I bought a book
so I could finally
understand electronics,
and fix those broken,
buzzing things
like he used to do.

Even when I spy
the arrival of
straggling stray
white hairs,
I laugh,
and I am comforted
because it is his laugh.



46 comments:

  1. I think the older we get the more of our fathers we see.. alas it is often too late. This poem really spoke to me...

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    1. Thanks, May we never lose our father's voice.

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  2. Ah, that's such a sweet tribute to your father - with that element of surprise when we see bits of our parents in ourselves or our children.

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    1. Yes, I am often surprised at what the mirror brings.Thanks.

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  3. Deep, powerful, this poem brought tears running down my face.

    This poem speaks to me.

    :(

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    1. Thanks, May your frown turn upside down.

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  4. Replies
    1. Thanks, I hope it's in a good way.

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  5. After nearly twenty years I still see my dad, especially in my younger son. Alive with memories of him, that I am.
    Anna :o]

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    1. Good, it's nice to live with your memories of him.

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  6. Tender, telling and effective writing - a pleasure to read tonight... Thank you

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    1. Thank you for your kind words.

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  7. Very moving to read ~ I find that as I grow older, I find my parents in me too ~ Thanks for lovely reminder ~

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    1. Thank you, this was written for people our age.

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  8. shadows everywhere if we look for them

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    1. Yes, and there is beauty in the shadows.

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  9. Very touching and a light-hearted tribute Buddah! It shows how very close a relationship it was and how you've fondly missed him!

    Hank

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    1. Thanks, yes I'm thankful I had my relationship with him.

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  10. That's very moving and a wonderful tribute to your father. It touched me deeply.

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    1. Thank you, I'm glad you were touched.

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  11. This poem deeply resonated with me. My father passed away when I was five so I really don't remember much about him. I learn more about him as I get older, as I unknowingly become more & more like him.

    This is a beautiful tribute. Thanks for sharing this with us.

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    1. Thanks for your kind words and your insight.

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  12. Aww, what a lovely tribute you your dad. My dad has also passed, and I think about him nearly every day. Btw, I linked a poem here that I think you read already in the Imaginary Garden, so you don't have to drop by again. Unless you just want to say hi. :o)

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    1. Thanks, and yes I'll drop by. I also think of my dad pretty neat every day.

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  13. This is so touching and moving....especially the part about finding your own laugh comforting because when you hear it, you hear his laugh. Wow.

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    1. Yes, that was a lovely surprise. Thank you.

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  14. Your affectionate nostalgia is touching, mutating into hope for the next generation.Terrific.

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    1. Thanks, and yes I feel like a mutant from my dad's generation.

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  15. So sweet. This really gave me a smile as I remembered my own father.

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    1. If you can have sweet memories, then I am glad to help.

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  16. Mom died 1/28 this year. Mother's Day is in two days. Your prose gave words to my deepest feelings this today.

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    1. Thanks, Janice. I offer my condolences and I'm not a big fan of Father's Day - every year I torture myself by reading all the greeting cards I'll never send him. On Sunday, do something nice for yourself in her honor.

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  17. ''seemingly bulletproof'' i love this...

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  18. Father's Day (and Mother's Day) brings out so much of these feelings. As so many get older and wiser, they finally acknowledge their turning into facsimiles of the very people they once tried so hard not to become. There is a bittersweet beauty in your words here. Take your own advice and do something nice for yourself in his honor, let his spirit smile some more.

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  19. What a lovely sentiment and tribute!

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  20. This is a very touching poem...one that I know would resonate with each of us in our own way, as our deceased parents are never really gone!

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    1. No my father keeps slipping out of me - mostly in mutters. Thanks.

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  21. What a wonderful tribute, Mosk. So touching.

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  22. Your poem goes deep - very heartfelt and I could really sense your emotions, your sentiments - very well penned.

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    1. Thanks Abhra - I don't know if it's a poem - but I had to write it.

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  23. The fact that you bought a book which will make you feel closer to him, says much. I feel you loss. My wife lost her mom several years ago, so I know the ache through her.

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    1. Thanks, I also listen to "West Side Story" as he loved that record.

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