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Friday, May 15, 2015

The Teardrop Indictment

After decades
of male socialization,
they sneak up on me,

sometimes during
a tv rerun
or after hearing a story
of true altruistic love,
or if I hear an
especially perfect lyric
to an especially perfect
melody.

Something in my belly slips
and knocks something loose
in my chest
and it rises and catches
in my throat
and
down the tears fall,

and I should hate them
as my training dictates
but I cannot,

because I have known
tears caused by fear
and adrenaline
and despair that weighed upon me
like cement shoes,

but for the first time
I see life clearly
and I see how beautiful
it can be
and how sweet it can taste.

I also know how
fleeting it all is.

She brought all that
to me
by her touch,
her love,

in a place
far beyond words.

So I stand accused,
indicted,
and convicted
by my occasional
teardrops,

proof of my inescapable
humanity.

8 comments:

  1. "I have known
    tears caused by fear
    and adrenaline
    and despair that weighed upon me
    like cement shoes"

    I can feel this, for sure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much - glad you could relate.

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  2. "or if I hear an
    especially perfect lyric
    to an especially perfect
    melody."

    Yeah. That gets me every time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that's the musician in your soul. Thanks, Mosk

      Delete
  3. Had me at title.
    I felt those cement shoes, and each tear.
    He says He counts them, holds them. It comforts me to think that it is true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is comforting, if more than a little abstract. Thanks, Mosk

      Delete