Monday, February 01, 2016

Raincloud Haibun

She tried to process what he'd just said, but all she kept thinking was "it's not good having a 4 o'clock meeting on a Friday afternoon with your boss."  Breaking her reverie, she looked up and heard him say "I have to flatten the organizational tree in higher administration." What the hell does that mean?He proudly championed his commitment to diversity, but here he was telling here that in the upcoming reorg, there was no room for a woman of color who has been with the organization 28 years.  He spoke some more, but her shock left her temporarily numb and mentally elsewhere. Gathering her thoughts and her dignity, she waited for a break in his monologue, and said "I think we're done here," and walked back to her office.

Rain can fall or storm,
ultimately, it brings growth;
the clouds never stay.





[First #haibun attempt, photo by BusyMindThinking (many thanks as it inspired this writing).

31 comments:

  1. Buddah, the idea is to use one of the four photos on the dVerse website. You are most welcome to pick one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I apologize. I didn't read the rules correctly. Please remove my link from the Blenza. Thanks.

      Delete
  2. For this particular challenge, the prompt uses Gabriella's photos...perhaps you could substitute one of those so it would fit the dVerse haibun prompt?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I apologize. I didn't read the rules correctly. Please remove my link from the Blenza. Thanks.

      Delete
  3. I am so humbled and honored you've no idea!!!! Great write!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, I hope you think I did your photograph justice.

      Delete
  4. Bravo, B! Wonderful write!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This leaves a sick feeling in my tummy. I feel awful for her. :( No matter how valuable you perceive yourself to be, you are only one "meeting" away from being dropped. It's a terrifying reality for us all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, this was about a friend of mine. More documentary than poem. Thanks.

      Delete
  6. Oh.. despite the choice of picture... (I think the rain on the window could work just as well)... I would hate that monologue... maybe it's better to just say it's over... I hope in the end the rain will cease though,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, and yes, I've been in on a few firings and it is a nauseating proposition.

      Delete
  7. Wow. I liked the reversal in the haiku from the prose that came before. I also really felt all the emotions of the moments you described in both. Really solid bit of writing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Rommy. I don't know the rules of haibun, so I tried to make the structure look correct.

      Delete
  8. Oh, this is such a great reminder that the clouds never stay. To me, it speaks of "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"...when we can grow despite what rotten storm life throws at us. Strong poem!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, sometimes all one can do is wait for the storm to pass.

      Delete
  9. The clouds never stay...
    What a great way to end your piece.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Such a very positive conclusion after such a shocking incident.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "There's always a rainbow, at the end of every rain." - Prince. Thanks!

      Delete
  11. You have written this scene so accurately - as it must be playing out in offices all over the corporate world.......I especially love the haiku. Thankfully, clouds never stay. Loved this, Mosk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Sherry. Yes, it was awful to hear my friend relate it.

      Delete
  12. I've been away too long. I'm loving the haibun. The way you present two seemingly different scenarios and tie them together is so high-ku!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. so well penned because this has certainly hit close to home here. love the cconcluding action and your last verse

      gracias

      Delete
    2. Thanks, I don't know the rules of haibun, so I just patched together something that looked like it.

      Delete
  13. Argh, I can relate.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This is a lovely stirring piece. Though i believe you meant 'haibun' as that is a form where text and haiku come together to form the entire poem. One rule of classic 'haibun', though a lot of times modern day writers stray from it is: the use of Present Tense in the text.

    I'm hoping you meant 'haibun' and not as you wrote "halibun"

    much love...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the kind lesson and the kind words. With gratitude, Mosk

      Delete
  15. Oh, I hurt for her. Sometimes we feel the sun will never shine again. Thank you for reminding me it does.

    ReplyDelete