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Thursday, May 21, 2020

Ascend

Those old love poems
worked hard
but failed to fly;

these poems, for you,
ascend, never looking back.

[Posted for https://dversepoets.com/2020/05/21/mtb-5-line-japanese-poetic-forms/]

13 comments:

  1. I love the pathos that exude from your lines, especially the first three. You used the three-two line composition structure brilliantly!

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  2. I like how the new poems never look back.

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  3. There ya go .... upward and onward!

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  4. Very nice! :) There is hope.

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  5. I love what your are saying here... Authenticity is the heart of poetry and not the form!

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  6. It's wonderful when poems ascend easily for the one you love

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  7. I love the way you have structured your tanka, the gap between the past love poems (poor old things, I feel sorry for them!) and the present ones – and the image of flying poems is simple but beautiful.

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  8. I like how the love poems ascend without looking back. The old perhaps tried too hard, or perhaps the love itself wasn't really there.

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  9. I would love to receive this love poem - lucky person!

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  10. Poems failing to fly made me smile ... happy weekend.

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  11. Simple yet profound...uplifting!

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  12. An object needs a subject.

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  13. Such a turn. From frayed darkness to burnished light. Beautiful!

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