Thursday, August 22, 2013

Return to Sender (For Brian Miller)

The blonde cheerleader
tracked me down,
a schlumpy, Mexican freshman,
to retrieve
the carnation and note
intended for
her boyfriend, the quarterback,
who just happened
to share my name.

With eyes averted,
I handed her
the torn-open envelope
which contained
her delicate cursive:

“I want to suck
your big brown machine.”

Welcome to high school.

[Written for #MeetingTheBar at dversepoets.com - it's Brian's birthday, so write him a present!]

47 comments:

  1. Not all youngsters are innocent!

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    1. I was! Ok, ok, you're right.

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  2. Ha! That is an amusing read. Good job!

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    1. Yes, that was October 1977. Thanks.

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  3. He..he...a lot things happen in high school ~

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    1. Yeah, but they happened to the other Mexican, not me!

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  4. That must have been very embarrassing for both of you.

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    1. I was completely mortified.

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  5. hahaha yeah...you def have to watch out for that kinda craziness in high school....oh...you would not believe the things and where....eww...yeah def dont eat off the floor....

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    1. I was so young and innocent I thought "this can't be for me, can it?" For one thing, I wasn't exactly sure what she was eluding to, but I did know the size of my brown machine. Happy Birthday!

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  6. Dang. I wonder if "he" was disappointed or relieved. That would be an embarrassing moment.

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    1. He was probably embarrassed!

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  7. mistaken identity still can't give us what we want, sometimes....

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    1. I know I didn't get what I wanted.

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  8. Clever turn here - I'm sure he wanted to "return it to sender". Well written in 55. Fine work.

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    1. Thanks! Like the challenge to edit.

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  9. Maybe it was a maduro Cohiba Cuban cigar. You know, maybe, might have been, never know...ha.

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    1. Naw, the schmuck wouldn't know a good cigar if he smoked one.

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  10. Ah... high school. Obviously, you never forgot it. Probably lucky (in the long run) that you weren't him...

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    1. I'm very lucky I wasn't him.

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  11. Yeah, we had THOSE cheerleaders too. "Easy" is an adjective that comes to mind. I came from the "always be a lady" old school of thinking. Would've been way too naive for this in my Freshman year! Heck, still makes me blush a little!!

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    1. Hey, I was mortified that I was a boy compared to the older "men".

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  12. Ha....a most embarrassing moment for at least one person!

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    1. I wonder who was more mortified - her or me?

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  13. haha...oh my... you wouldn't believe the things that happen in high schools..smiles

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    1. I was a pretty sheltered kid. No one offered me drugs, smokes or sex, so I read a lot of books and watched a lot of tv.

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  14. “I want to suck
    your big brown machine.”


    wow!!! wow!!!

    This whole poem pushes so many boundaries.
    You sir are a hell of a writer. Beautiful man. :)

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    1. Thanks, and imagine my surprise! I knew it wasn't for me as my brown machine was / is still very modest.

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  15. This is a awesomely written poem.

    I love this piece by you. :)

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  16. where were all those girls when I was in high school - uh yeah probably wouldn't of mattered for me anyways -

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  17. If she wrote that in a note in 1977, imagine what she'd be writing on the internet today--complete with pictures.

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    1. Yes, now she'd be a 54 year old cougar.

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  18. Add THAT to the list of things I hated about high school (dirty notes given to the wrong person!)...very good...

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    1. Figures: the only sex note I got in high school was a wrong number.

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  19. I'm so glad that I NEVER have to go back to high school! Quite the bday gift for Brian!

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    1. Me too - I saw pictures from my 30 year reunion and I got the cold sweats. Brian deserves to get a note like that from his wife! Happy birthday indeed!

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  20. Ha.. there are indeed things that get better with age... :-) poor teenagers

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  21. ...well, what can you expect of a blonde cheerleader? they're blonde & naughty.... aww...

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  22. Oh my - if stuff like that ever happened at my school, I never knew about it ...

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  23. oh those young girls.....tragedy narrowly averted???

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  24. Unfortunate girl.

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  25. Oh, my. How embarassing.

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