Thursday, August 29, 2013

Run Like a Child (For Rachel)

I wait for my daughter
to drive her home
when she is done
with middle school.

I remember her
younger
running to the car
-backpack bobbing and
her wide happy smile –
so giddy and alive
to see me.

Now she is changing,
becoming beautiful,
trying on new
phrases and associations
like they were hairstyles.

Her wide-eyed excitement
morphed into heavy-lidded
detachment
and slow moving feet
and slouching teenaged indifference.

I would never go back
to the awkward time
she is in,
I hated checking a million eyes
for confirmation
of what I was doing.

I watch her and I pray
that her blossoming
is more confident
less tortured
than mine was

I also pray that
sometimes
she’d run like a child
upon seeing me again.

3 comments:

  1. ugh. middle school is brutal. you def could not pay me enough to go there again...in a way we do go through it again through our children but....walk it with her man...and yes sometimes it would be nice if they were just kids again....

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  2. I remember the first time that I noticed an adult man take a second glance at my then young teenaged daughter. We were at an Waffle House in Covington, Georgia. I think she was about 13 or 14 and fully matured. She looked like she was an adult like I did at her age. I knew then how my parents must have felt. I asked her to go pay the man at the cash register. I watched him and the way he flirted with her. She didn't understand then. At least, I don't believe she did. She was still naive as we had lived overseas prior to that time for many years. She had been protected from society here on the mainland. I watched him watch her walk away. I was used to getting that kind of "flattery" and/or "insult" and waking away. My stomach sunk with a sick gut. I had to hold my tongue like a lady. I wanted to curse the man out and kick his butt. I wanted to tell him how old she was. He had no idea though, I would've looked like a nut. It takes a lot of strength to hold on to your dignity and pride when you've got a little girl. Especially, when she's your only baby girl. I realized then, she was already gone.

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  3. I feel your pain with this one. My husband has been going through the same thing with our daughter. Just remember that she has to break away to claim herself, but in time, she'll be back.

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