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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Underestimated

When I decided
to have sex with
the married psychobitch,

I rationalized it
by saying:

it's no big deal,
it happens everyday,
and if I got caught
I would just
deny it.

What I underestimated
is that
cruel selfishness,
demolished marriages,
and impassioned death threats,
also happen everyday
and it was
a big deal,

so enormous
and unquestionable

that,
when cornered,
I couldn't deny it.

[Written for #OpenLinkNight @ www.dversepoets.com - where you can love you some poetry!]

39 comments:

  1. yep. it will eat you alive from the inside...and having to look them in the eye...trying to justify just doesnt work anymore, if you still have some kind of heart...

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    1. Yes, surprise surprise, I had some heart left.

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  2. think it would kill me and he could read it in fat letters in both my eyes.. it's tough to work through it i think

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    1. Which is why we should always do what's right - it's easier.

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  3. I don't think one always believes 'You shouldn't play with fire or you'll get burned" until it happens to them.

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    1. ...and I have the scars to prove it.

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  4. Admitting it is the first step to healing... whatever direction it might take you. Wishing you well, Mosk.

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    1. Thanks LK, but fortunately this happened almost 20 years ago.

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  5. Infidelity is certainly a big deal. Very tough to recover from. Well said.

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    1. I never fully appreciated fidelity until I got married (when I was 39). I'm aghast at how I've lived sometimes.

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  6. Wow, definitely a tough subject. I like the raw honesty of this :-)

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    1. Thanks, it's hardly a poem, but it is true.

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  7. so very often...desire overcomes sense...and we face the consequences...

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    1. In this case, I was really hurting and the psychobitch acted like she cared about me... boy, was I ever wrong about that.

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  8. Reality has a way of biting back.

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    1. With teeth sharpened by bitterness, no less.

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  9. I've heard it said the truth only hurts once, but after reading your poem, I'm sort of relieved I'm not the only one who's had a run in, run down, run around with a psychobitch (sums it up perfectly), so I can really relate to this !!!

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    1. My sympathies. No the memory of the truth can haunt one forever.

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  10. This made me think of the movie "Fatal Attraction." Lessons hard learned. Wish everyone could read this before they make those kinds of mistakes...they are so easy to rationalize.

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    1. I only wished she was half as crazy as Glenn Close in that movie.

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  11. That's when you say: "Yeah, well, if you had done your job properly, I wouldn't have had to."

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    1. No, I wasn't married - the psychobitch was. Plus, I wasn't blaming anyone but myself, although there were plenty of bad decisions for everyone.

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  12. It's hard to walk away from this too! Good to have a forum for this expression.

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    1. Thanks, I'd rather write it than live it.

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  13. Even if you are the only one that knows the truth, it still gnaws your insides and yes, when cornered, we may not be able to deny it ~

    Good one Mosk ~

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  14. In the end, brudda dear, it's never about getting caught... it's about being caught in your own dilemma, caught in that nasty trap of conscience. I've faced this choice many times, and I have the chewed-out bits of my psyche as souvenirs for when I chose the wrong path. But they were part of my road to monogamy... Love you! Your sistah, Ameleh

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    1. Thanks, and while my conscience did bother me, it was only after I got busted. That's what worried me: I was able to do this despicable thing and not miss a meal.

      "Oh, that was many years ago. I doubt if anyone would know."- Sweeney Todd

      Thanks my sista- Mosk

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  15. Everything has its price...we live, we learn. I applaud your hoxnesty...and happy you came thru..Mosk... ~jackie~

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    1. Everything has its price: my therapist stated after I told him the whole sordid, terrifying story "I hope the orgasm was worth it."

      It wasn't. - Thanks, Mosk

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  16. Been there, but never got caught.>KB

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    1. Well then, consider yourself lucky.

      "Keep yourself humble, because if you don't, God will." - Moskowitz

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  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  19. Had a hell of a time getting my comments to publish. Anyway, this was a good read, Mosk. Live and learn, eh? xo

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  20. Buddah, if one is married they shouldn't venture elsewhere. Now, that is just my opinion. Some people are not worth the misery or risk. There are plenty of psychos out there, single or otherwise.

    Pamela

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  21. I think when we are young we truly don't understand the consequences of our actions. Sometimes you have to live through something to understand what it really means.

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  22. I liked the parallelism in the form... how it couldn't be denied in the end. Kudos for the honesty, too. You are a brave man, Mosk.

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  23. I think the whole philosophy behind religion's "remaining a virgin until married" to protect a covenant between the two and God was so that neither could compare the other to another in a physical sense. That's what she said.

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