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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Not Tonight

“Uh oh.
Not tonight.

When he kisses me
more than once,
I know he’s warming up
to something.

Maybe if I give him
a few tight-lipped
kisses…

no,
he’s not stopping.

Great,
he’s positioning
his whale-like frame over me.

Perhaps he doesn’t realize
he’s gained 40 pounds
in the last ten years,
but I do.

C’mon, let me leave
my shirt on.
I’m too tired to make this
a whole big production.

No,
I didn’t shower,
so there’s no way you’re doing
that.

I’ll suck his tongue,
that always does the trick.

Ow, you’re on my hair!

If he wasn’t so out of shape
he wouldn’t need the meds
for the high blood pressure,
the high cholesterol,
the diabetes,
and then
maybe he wouldn’t need the
Viagra,
which takes too long to work
anyway.

Finally.

He’s semi-hard,
like the mozzarella cheese stick
I put in the kid’s lunch.

This is
kind of
how I remember
it feeling.

If I turn over,
it gets in deeper
and he finishes faster.

I knew it.

I shouldn’t have moved.

Now it’s gone.

Shit.
This is frustrating.

Let me reassure him.
Again.

No, it’s ok.
That’s ok, really.

And now,
here come the
inevitable
apology.

Please
whatever you do,
don’t cry.”

(For #OpenLinkNight at http://dversepoets.com/ - come join the fun!)

52 comments:

  1. omg...you have me dying here in the library...great minds...err....lol...a cheese stick in the lunch box...ouch...see there are reasons i def am glad i can not read minds...and off to do some more sit ups...work that core...

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  2. Work that core indeed. Thanks.

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  3. haha..yep def. work that core... and believe me.. most women have much more friendly thoughts than most men would assume...smiles

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    1. Thanks for the reassurance. This started off as a rumination about aging. Where did it run afoul? :)

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  4. Hilarious... I'll never look at cheese sticks the same again.

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    1. Thanks... and I'm sorry, but it was the only poetic image I could come up with.

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  5. now THAT is going to ruin my plans for tonight. :-) LOL
    excellent work.

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    1. Sorry, brother. But I'm glad you got a laff out of it.

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  6. oh my... i'm with claudia... but i get the whole aging (together) thing... it's not at all easy, growing old. :)

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    1. I'm trying not to grow old, but my body is betraying me. Thanks.

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  7. The truth is absolutely painful, brother. But also hilarious. This is why people have affairs. ;_)

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    1. Thanks - if I was truthful and hilarious, then I think I hit a home run.

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  8. OMGoodness...... I'm really giggling here! This is hilarious!
    What a wonderful, funny read.

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    1. Thanks for the compliment. It's hilarious if you identify with the protagonist or her inept lover. I know who I identify with.

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  9. Oh, brudda mine, this is bittersweet, more bitter, though... You know, women aren't so concerned with Da Man than they are with the, let's say, conversational aspects of sex... and you can talk her "ear" off, as long as you whisper. That's your Dr. Ruth moment for the day! And as for growing old, hell, who isn't? Isn't that why I wear a bra, to keep 'em off my knees? wink
    Your loving sistah, Ameleh (God, I hope no one from our congregation reads this, yikes!)
    My dverse - http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/06/14/we-interrupt-your-regularly-scheduled-programming/

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    1. Ameleh, thanks for seeing the bitterness in this. I actually think there's a big dollop of tragedy in this, but perhaps the laffs win out. Knew you'd understand. Thanks for the Dr. Ruth moment - loved Ruth Westheimer. Your brudda, de Mosk

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  10. Oh dear me...this is good.

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    1. Thank you - this poemonologue has engendered some unexpected responses. "Oh dear me" is right up there!

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  11. Oh dear. Funny-sad. You're a brave man.

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    1. Thanks, it's easy to be brave when you write under a non de plume and your wife doesn't read your blog.

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  12. Replies
    1. I'm guessing by the responses from the women, I've tapped into something universal here. Thanks, O Talented One.

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  13. I'm with Claudsy - not all women are so deprecatory in their thoughts. ^_^ (I'm more eager puppy, but that's another poem.)I found it funny, but in a tragic way. Find myself more teary that laughing at the end.
    XOX

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    1. Thanks, I agree there's a miserable funny element to it, but moreover I was shooting for truth. Eager puppy? That's how I'd describe myself in the boudoir: sitting up and begging. :)

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  14. Very good, Mosk! You had me laughing as well as blushing here. Yup, good thing your wife doesn't read your blog. She'd be blushing too. I'm heading to the fridge to get a cheese stick right now!

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    1. No, she'd probably be pissed thinking that I'm writing about her. I actually wanted to try and write from what I thought a woman's perspective is when being made love to by a troglodyte, or by me. I hope I didn't ruin cheese sticks for everyone either.

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    2. No worries, Mosk! Sometimes one just needs to laugh about the stuff of life. I always enjoy your blog as you tell it as it is. I still like cheese sticks. Smiles. Keep writing and being YOU.

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  15. I was laughing so hard....sadly, ain't it the tragic truth ~ I don't blame those aging female stars liking their guys young and sturdy you know.....Enjoyed it much ~

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    1. So glad you enjoyed it, and yes I can totally understand too. :)

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  16. Terrifying. Absolutely....terrifying! :-P

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    1. One person's sex life is another person's horror movie. :)

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  17. Loved you title ~ not tonight baby ~. such a real truth
    for us aging baby boomers. I remember my mom always saying 'growing older is not for the whimps'
    Excellent write!

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    1. Thanks, growing old is easy compared to the alternative.

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  18. I saw more "truth" than humor in this. Tough (and brave) topic to take on. A person doesn't have to be overweight, sometimes any health issues or meds can cause the same umm...lack of excitement. Agree with Sharp Little Pencil re: conversational aspects. To me there's nothing sexier than someone who is actually showing interest in YOU, in showing it with undivided attention, and not just for the "heat of the moment." Whispering sweet nothings and finding the 'sweet spot,' can go a long way too, to keep someone happy too. Enough with my Dr. Ruth for now! Appreciate you sharing this.

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    1. Thanks so much - wasn't shooting for laffs here, but understanding. Actually it was easy to write, but tough to post.

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  19. Oh dear.
    Light-hearted and funny monologue, funny-sad kinda way. Thanks for the humor!

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    1. Thanks, I take funny-sad as a compliment.

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  20. O, Gawd! This is funny, a little sad, but ultimately o so human....I think loving women are accepting and kind..I do love the honesty here. tee hee...:)))

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    1. Thanks, and yes, I agree women are far more kind than men. Check Richard Pryor's first concert film for proof - the last 15 minutes are pure genius.

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  21. "One person's sex life is another person's horror movie"...or comic farce as the case may be. You've combined these elements so intimately that each side benefits from the contrast. Nice job.

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    1. Thank you - I also say "One man's foreplay is another man's begging and pleading."

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  22. Oh, man. This is funny-sad, indeed. Well penned, my friend.

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    1. You know the old saw about comedy being tragedy plus time? Enough time must've passed. Thanks, de.

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  23. Ahh -- this was a little sad.
    Hugs. Wait... that's not, umm maybe hugs aren't the best way to go here. :-)

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    1. Thanks - I was aiming for a little sad. :) I accept your virtual good wishes!

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  24. but you know ~ soft kisses, a close cuddle and whispered "i love you"s can be just as good.

    but really, i don't care for a cheese stick now, thank you! {smile}

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    1. That's a powerful visual image, as I think I turned people off to cheesesticks.

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  25. Majestic, really! Enjoyed immensely, nothing to say!
    Ha...and written so well I'm there in person, but more rewardingly, there in thought.

    Super!

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    1. Thanks! If I can get you to "suspend disbelief" then I've done my job.

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  26. holy crap, mosk... between you and Brian on the OLN, this is definitely coloring my thoughts for the evening. and yes, i'll never see cheese sticks the same again. a most provocative write.

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    1. Thank you, and I hope it colors your night in a positive way.

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  27. I love your ability to say it like it is. To put truths out there. And while I agree with the giggles found within the lines (ie. cheese sticks), I also found myself feeling quite sad at the end. For both. It doesn't sound like there's a lot of love in the making.

    As always, Mosk: you, um...nailed it. ;)

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