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Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Tersely

She got up
and said

“It’s not working.”

I laid there
in naked humiliation

and she left,

taking with her
three years
of my life

and her vibrator.

[Posted for MamaZen's challenge at http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/2013/05/words-count-with-mama-zen.html]

33 comments:

  1. you caught me with the last line...broke the feeling for me...i was feeling the loss..and then had a rather ironic laugh...smiles.

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  2. Thanks, from the documentary files... June 1987.

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  3. well....smiles....

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  4. Brudda mine, if she needed a vibrator, you're better off without her anyway! It's all about the patience and trust in your lover. This one, I can tell it's for Mama Zen (she brings out the latent brevity in me, too!) is also so honest... brutally. Thanks for sharing. Your sistah, Ameleh

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    1. Hey, I'll admit I'm not the best lover, but it was difficult to compete. Besides, we'd run out of gas a long time before this.

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  5. This is brilliant and the tightly is perfect

    I am
    http://mindlovemisery.wordpress.com/

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    1. Thanks! I appreciate your note.

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  6. Haha! Life's a bitch...

    I like the way the title becomes the first word of the poem.

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    1. Ha! I never noticed that before. For those of you reading my poememoir, this woman's name was Darra.

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  7. my son stopped playing to look at me because i was laughing so hard. this is wicked funny, but what a heifer!

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    1. Thank you - laughter is a wonderful response - it is usually unforced. That's no way to denigrate heifers.

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  8. Yeah, naked doesn't help under circumstances like that, does it?
    K

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    1. Naked's pretty damned vulnerable, you're right.

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  9. OK, I just did a spit take with my Pepsi! I hope she and her vibrator are happy! Tough to compete with some of those babies!

    BTW, I loved your comment about my 1984 poem. I guess you never realized that I was obsessed with you. Too subtle?

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    1. Yay! Spit take! Yes, you ladies have a ton of choices in the vibrator department. Men, we have our hands and the oddly shaped blow up doll.

      (Sidebar: Here's the best joke I ever wrote when I was trying to be a stand-up comic:

      I was in an adult bookstore doing some comparison shopping, and I saw that on the side of the box of a blow-up love doll it said "Weight limit: 300 Lbs." I will have hit rock bottom if I ever have to go on a diet to buy a blow up love doll."

      We'll always have 1984- ;) Mosk

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  10. OMG! Love this ........ three years? A lifetime I think.

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    1. Thanks, it feels like a lifetime ago.

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  11. This points up the difference between women and men. We can be so patient, imaginative, and resourceful in the oft time consuming process of getting her "there," but let that member in good standing malfunction one time, and they are outta there in huff, with some prickly comments to boot.

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    1. In her defense, she was very understanding when I would prematurely ejaculate twice in a row. :\

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  12. Last line surprised me, too, but seems utterly fitting.
    I suppose her leaving was a blessing in disguise.

    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2013/05/02/the-mad-ones/

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    1. No disguise at all - it was a blessing all ways around. Nice to know years down the road she referred to me as the "love of her life."

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  13. Anonymous4:19 PM

    I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! Thanks poet friend, for sharing these memoirs via poetry!

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    1. Thanks, I laughed mostly - now I was free to disappoint other women!

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  14. This made me laugh, Mosk. Hope you don't mind.

    And....shit indeed happens.

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    1. Please, a laugh is a great return on investment.

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  15. i hate when that happens! *wink*

    (don't let the door smack ya on the ass on the way out, lady.)

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    1. Sam Kinison had a bit where writes to Dr. Ruth saying "Thanks to you, Dr. Ruth, my wife's now f*cking the lawn mower."

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  16. This is the best! Perfect!

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    1. Such praise from the holder of the Tiara of Terse is gold indeed.

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  17. I love this...and totally feel your pain.

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    1. No kidding, you had blue balls too? :)

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    2. Women may not get blue balls, but trust me frustration like that can be painful to us, too.;)

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