Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Bad Boy and Family Man

I'm the guy you used to want.

I'm the one who snuck you
out the window of your
parent's house
and took you on my Harley
and we drank and rode all night
falling asleep in the wet grass
after fornicating behind the church
both of us knowing
you had an algebra test the next morning.

I'm the one who didn't take
any shit from anyone and though it
cost me a couple lousy jobs and
a high school diploma
you still acquiesced to
my fearless desire
because something in your soul
was lit when you were under
my alpha male charm.

There was no fight too small,
my fists leapt at every opportunity,
while I did heroic lines of coke
and stole what I didn't have
and I didn't care about tomorrow
and when marriage number one crashed and burned
I blamed her for it
and I did all these things
because that's what got me laid
and it felt right.

Now time has slowed me
and I have seen error of those ways.
I found a family
and maybe it was the kids that
finally softened me,

but most likely it was
my wife's love all along.

Now I wake up every morning
shave and put on a clean shirt
and I say "yes, sir" to a lot of guys
that I might have bitch-slapped
back in the day,
and I call home before I leave work
to ask if she needs anything
from the store
even if it's tampons.

I take out the trash,
help one daughter with her algebra,
pick up my son and his friend
and take them to the bowling alley,
and sit through another re-run
of "Full House" with my littlest one,

and sometimes,
in my quietest moments
both Bad Boy and Family Man
will appear to me
at the same time
asking the same question:

who are you?

[Posted for #OpenLinkNight - at www.dversepoets.com - come along and find your new favorite poet.  BTW, this is a re-posting of a poem I wrote in 2006. Everyday I'm posting autobiographical poems to commemorate my turning 50 years old later this week. ]

27 comments:

  1. Buddha, you really score with this one, rocked the Pub, brought a sad smile to my old lips, for I know both of these dudes; see them in the mirror all the time; less flamboyant that your guys, but a man of many guises regardless; thanks.

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    1. Thanks, good sir. Yes, the eternal question, who are you? The eternal answer: I don't know. (from Barfly)

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  2. awww that made me smile... if you found the one you love, you do much what you usually would not...love that you buy her even tampons...my husband does as well...and i love him for this...smiles

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    1. Thanks, it was tough buying tampons the first couple times, but now I am not embarrassed - I don't hide them as they are proof that I have a woman at home.

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  3. This is touching... always being the one on the receiving end of the Bad boys fist I'm still happy for him... and love can cure it all... and also it gives you all back.. sweet...

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    1. I wasn't such a bad boy - but I am a good family man. Thanks.

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  4. smiles...good on you for buying the tampons...esp when there is such a variety you have to pick through...ha.....i am glad love changed you and your ways...i could say much the same of what it has done in my life...cool piece man....

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    1. Right? There's like 20 different types of tampons and pads - I just take a picture of the packaging with my cell phone and use that to find the right brands. Love changes indeed, thanks bro.

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  5. Mosk, I think we all do a bit of mellowing with age. We learn a bit along the way...but some of those early (wild) experiences bring good memories as well, at least they do for me...and I wouldn't have lived life any other way. And I wonder about you.

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    1. I would've matured up a little sooner than I did, but it did bring me quite the set of memories. No regrets though. :) Thanks.

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  6. We do have many lives we've lived when looking back. Good read.>KB

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    1. Thanks, and I wonder how many more I get before I get booted.

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  7. i like the story of redemption implicit in this (in spite of the question at the end) - love wins again, yeah!

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    1. Thanks, yeah, I'm a sucker for the redemptive quality of love.

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  8. I love that ending. But where is Mosky Poet the Magnificent?!? :-)

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    1. Thanks, Shay, last I saw MoskyPoet he was crappin' out some haiku - nothing Magnificent about him, if you aks me.

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  9. I really liked the last stanza when the bad boy and family man meet up..you sound happy in this part of your journey.

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  10. Buddah, this is great! The self-discovery plays out in a very honest admission. We all ask ourselves, "Who are you?" I'd like to think my answer would sound as good!

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  11. Babe, you're joining my club... are you a Virgo, too, or on the Libra side of things? Not that it matters one bit, really.

    Funny, I came here because I read Brian Miller's poem, which showed a protective side toward a girl who was straying from the path. Told him that knowing there are dads like him and like you who make me feel better about my daughter being out in the world.

    The lines of coke, the bitch-slapping, oh yeah, I've been there. And the fact that you will buy her tampons is the ULTIMATE in true manliness. Love from your sistah, Ameleh

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  12. I would have visited anyways but Amy said be sure and check out your write, Mosk, and she was right, of course. Solid. ~ M

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  13. Time, luck and love will mellow the smart ones, the stupid and unlucky ones end up dead or in a cell. Glad to see you made it, many of us are indeed both the bad boy and the family man, hard to separate two sides of the same coin.

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  14. You are both, Mosk...you are both....but rather the bad boy now...yin and yang of the soul revealed...You are loved. ~jackie~

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  15. This one wowed me: the origins of a poet revealed.

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  16. Good write you two!

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  17. It is the soul tempered, the spirit enlivened, sprinkled as they are with drops of wisdom rained down from the past.
    So life goes on, takes its fuel and fodder wherever it may find them.
    Cheers!

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  18. very good write..loved the progression from Bad Boy to Family Man and the pondering, a natural course as we age..

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  19. Very well done. This rouses some memories of a life I lived through a long time ago. I sometimes wonder how things turned out for him.

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