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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

This Impossible Puzzle

I don’t trust
bright sunny
Tuesdays
in early September
anymore.
My plan was to write
nine stanzas of
eleven words each,
my poetic tribute
to the fallen,
but 99 words won’t say it
and 2,977 victims won’t
hear it.
12 years gone
and I am still
buried under
the weight of it all.
Underneath the
confetti rubble,
broken masonry,
shattered glass,
melted steel,
this heart weeps
angry
but impotent,
as nothing will undo the day
and repeated viewings
do not
desensitize me
as they should.
I want vengeance,
I want to wreak havoc
and mayhem,
but I know
that is not my domain.
I want blood,
but remember
that I have been saved
by His blood,
so I pray,
hopeful that it’s enough,
while trying to solve
this impossible puzzle
with 3D pieces
scattered
throughout the
galaxy,
and trying not
to give in to
the empty,
unforgiving silence.

[Posted for #OpenLinkNight @www.dversepoets.com - my home away from home online. Come on and share your thoughts and feelings.]

37 comments:

  1. Buddha Man, this one zings from the page, and the words burn like lime spitballs across the skin of our emotions. Even after a decade, we cannot forget, or forgive, for those towers loom large in our angst, in our anger. There will be blood Bush said, and there was, trainloads of it, too much of it from our own children, brothers, neighbors struggling in the hellish haze of the middle east. Now there is Syria, Egypt, N. Korea, as we of the World Police, as top dog in the imperialist gang, will never rest as we sharpen our big sticks.

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    1. Phil Ochs said "we're the Cops of the World." Thanks for your comments.

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  2. Mosk, this was a strong one. Hard to believe it was twelve years ago, isn't it? I like the beginning…about not trusting Tuesdays in September anymore. As for being desensitized, I pray we are never desensitized to what happened on that day. I don't think I'll ever feel really 'safe' again. But so true that vengeance is not our domain as well. It is hard to forget the towers and all the lives lost. They symbolize so much & changed so much as they fell.

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    1. I didn't realize until much later how huge the change would be. Thanks.

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  3. yep - don't give in to the empty, unforgiving silence...and i think praying is a good thing to do.. we cannot do anything to make it unhappen - just learn from it and hopefully sth. like this never happens again..

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    1. You're right - nothing will undo this. Thanks for the comment.

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  4. nothing will undo the day

    ... so very true. I don't care how many years go by, it will never be forgotten & I won't get desensitized as far as I'm concerned.

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    1. Yes, I think it is a singularly codifying moment.

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  5. Anonymous1:10 PM

    Your opening stanza is perfect! I also like how you mingle personal reactions, memories and tributes.

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    1. I was going to write the 9 eleven word stanza poem, but it was junk. I think this came out better. Thanks, mosk

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  6. Hard to believe it has been twelve years, love your opening about not trusting "bright sunny Tuesdays in early September". A beautiful poem about such a tragedy.

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    1. Thanks, that's my version of PTSD - every early Tuesday in September makes me hypervigilant.

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  7. i feel you man...i was flying that day 12 years ago...and the shock of it all...it is a hard day to process...i remember though how in the atlanta airport with 15000 other people we came together and cared for one another...so i do have some fond memories to go with the day as well....

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    1. Strangely, I understand. I like how the country came together, briefly, before falling apart again.

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  8. I often have trouble in commenting on people's work because I am such an amateur. I know nothing about form or technicalities but I do know when something I reads really hits home and this is one of those. Well done.

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    1. Thank you then for your kind words. I am an amateur too, without formal training (hence the title of my blog). I'm glad you were affected by this.

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  9. Gorgeous from the opening stanza on.

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  10. A lovely piece for a momentous occasion Mosk ~ The day can never be undone but hopefully we can bear the heavy & empty silence as the years go by ~

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    1. Thanks, Grace. May you have a quiet and beautiful September 11.

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  11. Anonymous3:41 PM

    99 words won’t say it

    and 2,977 victims won’t

    hear it.

    --------------------------------------------------

    You've created an enigma masterpiece and you've challenged us with your poetic visions. I love this so much. What inspired you to write this poem?

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    1. Thanks so much - I am always inspired (for lack of a better word) by this time of year. I thought of the title "Nine Elevens" and was going to write nine 11 worded stanzas about it. I thought "ain't you clever?," but then couldn't write it. It proves one of my cardinal rules of my writing: Never write the title first.

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  12. I've been wanting to write a tribute to 9/11 for the past few years but haven't been able to. So many emotions: sadness, guilt, confusion... But anger is the one that always stops me in my tracks. You hit on all of these emotions & you did so better than I ever could've. Here's to a peaceful September 11 to you & yours, Mosk.

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  13. Oof, this is so powerful in its understated sense of frustration. There will probably never be the right words. We can only remember, grieve, honor.

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  14. Anonymous5:19 PM

    there's never justice. there's only time. such a strong pen, Mosk.

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  15. Anonymous5:21 PM

    my comment got gobbled. hope this makes it.

    powerful pen, Mosk.

    there's never justice; there's only time.

    ~ M

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  16. Anonymous7:04 PM

    A really powerful poem, Buddha, one of the most powerful I've read in a while - reading you, I too felt again that anger, that impotence, that "empty,
    unforgiving silence."

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  17. I will never forget the sunny day that turned black with ash..this is a powerful and timely write.

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  18. Brudda mine, thanks for hanging with me recently. Now, about this poem: your opening line was stunning. Put me in the time and place immediately, and I was transfixed on all the emotion you invested in this. Admitting you wanted that "eye for an eye," yet remembering the lessons of Jesus - well, you have the kind of courage that acknowledges both. While I never went to the "revenge mode," I understand people who felt it at the time. I just don't understand people who still feel that way, PTSD, with 12 years' worth of stewing in their guts. Love, Amy

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  19. Anonymous11:49 PM

    A thoughtful and sensitive piece about a tragedy etched in our very being. Hard to believe over a decade has passed..Thank you, Mosk, for your thoughts...for sharing. xo ~jackie~

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  20. Anonymous5:29 AM

    As I read this, it's 12 years exactly - almost to the minute. As we gathered round the TV on the ferry from Ardrossan to Arran, we could not believe what we were seeing.

    12 years later we've added who knows how many lives to those lost on that awful September day - and still we don't seem to have achieved anything.

    But just as the men who hijacked those planes showed us the worst of humanity - as if we needed reminding - the firefighters and others who risked, and too often lost, their lives to help others showed us the best of what we can be. So too people like yourself who give voice to the desire for revenge, but step back from actually pursuing it.

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  21. YES! Great tribute. Good turn from wanting vengeance to understanding the need for violence to stop. And yet there is a puzzle to be solved. Thanks for sharing.

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  22. Brought tears to my eyes. This poem is why I'm silent on the subject, even thought there are stories to share and poems waiting for the light. I can't. Not yet. Thank you for this.

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  23. well written,time......

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  24. Buddah, there are no words to describe that day.

    Pamela

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  25. Oh, man. THIS:
    "99 words won’t say it
    and 2,977 victims won’t
    hear it."

    And "angry/but impotent."

    Powerful stuff. Brilliantly done.

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  26. this definitely packed a punch. perfectly done!

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