Friday, November 25, 2016

Do You Have a Hotline to God?

“No, she didn’t make it
today.

Well, she’s been having a lot
of ups and downs lately.

Mostly downs.

Yes,
she still sees
Dr. Emma,
but she’s kind of lost
faith in science and
medicine.

She has
what they call
Treatment-Resistant
Depression.

She’s tried pills.

Yah, she’s
tried that one…

and that one…

yes, and that one too.

We just got
the name and number
of a psychiatrist
at Loma Linda
who performs
ECT.

Electro-Convulsive
Therapy.

No, it’s not like
in Cuckoo’s Nest

It’s more controlled
than that.

Yes, we know it’s extreme,
but so is
having my 19 year old
daughter in constant
psychological pain.

No,
I don’t think
she’ll want that.

Because she’s been
praying for respite for years,
and what makes you think
your special prayer group can help?

Do you have
a hotline to God?

I’m sorry,
I’m not trying to be rude,
but I have a daughter
who hates being alive
so much
that she’s
investigating countries
where they have
assisted suicide.

Yes, I know.

Look,
if you want to pray,
don’t let me stop you,
but

after all this time,
I admit I’ve lost
some of my faith.

Who wouldn’t?

Maybe you should
pray for me
too.”

13 comments:

  1. This poem of yours gave me chills and yet, I picture the idea of someone getting in touch with god on a hotline. Brilliant writing my friend. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's a pretty tough situation to handle Mosk ~ Prayers for the family ~

    ReplyDelete
  3. Powerful poem here. It expresses what many people feel when one goes through bad times. Others try to make us feel better or "help" when it really doesn't feel that way to the person hurting. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's probably the thing with faith...it works as monologues too, without a response on a hotline. Love this poem.

    ReplyDelete
  5. A very effective presentation of a dilemma only the people going through it can fully understand---the frustration and impossibility of the situation.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh Mosk--I feel this one somewhere in my gut and wish I didn't --well done!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Psychological pain is tormenting. I hope, for both of you, that she finds a way to live and experience joy.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Beautifully evocative ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  9. I can feel and pray without any hotline to God... to have reasons to love is to live I think,

    ReplyDelete
  10. You've described what my parents went through forty five years ago when nobody knew much about teenage depression. I have always felt so guilty but now I know it wasn't all my fault. I hope you get through it and come out the other side just like we did. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your poem pulls at the heartstrings. I can relate to it very much, for me thankfully in the past, but I often often feel this way when there is others I see in need, being given advice that is more preaching and not helpful.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sad words of what is.
    I experienced (reactive) depression for the first time in my life two years ago and luckily it was short-lived after the catalyst resolved itself.
    It was then I truly understood depression and could empathise with those I worked with/for.
    I have been present in an ECT suite whilst a patient was receiving treatment and felt bad about it, this until I saw the change (for the better) in the person that received it. It was quite remarkable.
    My ma-in-law received ECT throughout the years and it always brought an improvement, a relief of symptoms.
    My thoughts are with you and your daughter and I wish you both well.
    The kindest of regards
    Anna :o]

    ReplyDelete
  13. This resonates with me, as I have a son who struggles mightily with depression. Not a good row to hoe. Your poem is powerful and real.

    ReplyDelete