as I fancied myself a modest god
who would make these players
do my bidding,
live out my revenge fantasies.
I aimed for
verisimilitude,
the illusion that it was
just like real life.
I wrote scenes of dialogue
and action
and characters
who all sounded like me,
but as a sheltered 16 year old,
I didn’t have enough material
to work with.
I’d create scenes,
situations,
snappy patter,
but I could never write
a proper end of a play,
and they would each limp
to their eventual final curtain.
Three years and
five plays later
I gave it up,
and went back to writing
songs
poems
jokes
temporary literary ephemera,
and I still watch
with palpable envy
and awe
when a writer pulls it all together
and finishes the story.
Now,
when I write “poetry”
when I am done with an idea
it just ends,
and I go on
to the next thing
just like real life.
I know how you feel! Sometimes I have difficulty even finding an ending for my poems!
ReplyDeleteHeh, Buddah, I fantasized myself a novelist too. Two books out there. Truly good ones, but I don't have the name....no one buys things written by unknowns. Sad. Your plays, same thing. Now if you were Tennessee Williams, anything you wrote would be top drawer. I write poetry now too.
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