Two Lessons, Too Late (Prompt: epigram)

“The way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.” – Oscar Wilde

I knew it was wrong

when I did it

but I did it anyway

because she promised me

“no one will ever know.”

Being an ethical contortionist

I trusted my logic

and believed my rationale,

but when he called me

at my office

screaming

that he knew what I did,

where I lived

and that he was going

to shoot off my testicles

with his shotgun,

I learned two lessons:

first,

it is impossible

to talk your way out of

a problem with a party

unwilling to listen,

and

second,

never sleep with

another man’s wife,

schmuck.