Once again,
outside the cultural orbit,
I watch the world
mourning
Kate and Anthony.
I don't buy
designer bags,
and I rarely
travel abroad
but
I like
exotic food.
But,
strip away
all the fame,
the celebrity
stardust,
separate them
from all their
noisy, affected
followers,
and look at
their eyes,
human, weary
just like my
daughter's
when she
thankfully
failed at
doing herself in
at 11,
and I remember
my own fear,
discouraged sadness
and helplessness.
My heart weeps
for them
and those left behind,
with their
days ahead,
unwanted days
of angry rattling,
aimlessly plodding
through their souls
with unborn memories,
empty embraces,
and unanswerable questions.
[Mental illness is treatable and recovery is possible.
If you need to talk to someone, call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255.]
And wondering, wondering what they could have done. Beautiful work, Mosk.
ReplyDelete"Look at their eyes, human, weary" and the sad lines about your daughter. Oh Buddah, the pain there is in this world, along with the potential for joy. So many struggle. I appreciate the info you posted below the poem. Yes, help and support are available.
ReplyDeletethe true haunting isn't in the mourning for what/who is now gone, but as you've noted, so very clearly, with great anguish - look deeply into the eyes - the eyes may/not be the windows to the soul - but far too often, they are the true reflections of how someone is feeling. But we see and honour the "truths" that may/not be all sham/glam/glitter - or appreciate the edginess of someone's voice .... but once the camera is off, the spotlights dimmed - it is easier to to forget what one has seen. But up close and personal - the anguish, the despair .... that lives on in their eyes .... and facing this? day to day, is the hardest part - especially if one is crippled by helplessness and hopelessness and doesn't know how to reach out to them ....
ReplyDeleteempty embraces,
ReplyDeleteand unanswerable questions... wonder what pushes them over the edge, to that last act of despair... wish everyone could find help in such situations...
Acidents happen, and then some soul just want to go home. We are not in control, I am sorry for the sadness, the loneliness and their decision. It is our loss.
ReplyDeleteRemember the purgatory scene in What Dreams May Come?, when the husband says he will not leave her, even if it means staying in limbo with her forever? That's what this poem makes me think of. Sometimes you can't pull a person out of their depression. You have to just be in it with them --- holding them, stroking their head, bringing them pizza. Whatever it takes, even if neither of you ever rises again.
ReplyDeleteYes, so very true. We all bleed red as they say, and stars or unknowns all have the same things they struggle with including mental illness. A powerful write! Thank you for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteI think having sons kept me from swimming due west on more than one occasion. Now that they're nearly grown.... I think the water is too damn cold for that. But one can't help but wonder sometimes how we keep our heads above water ~
ReplyDelete