Wednesday, April 08, 2015

The One I Threw Away

I've kept damn near
everything
I ever wrote,

just in case
the Smithsonian calls.

The only one
I threw away
intentionally
was the whine
written for the
deranged and depraved
married woman
who pursued me
after my newlywed bride
abandoned me
and my heart
was oozing
pus all over
our still-unopened
wedding presents.

In weakness
I wrote it
and in weakness
I dishonored
her marriage.

I secretly wish
every poem I ever
gave away
is still somewhere
secretly tucked
inside a memory box,
yellowed and folded,
treasured beyond
explanation,

except the one
I threw away.

I hope that one
was unceremoniously
dumped along with
wadded candy wrappers,
sticky, spent condoms
and other detritus
born of regret.

38 comments:

  1. ouch, powerful stuff. I love that your value your creations (or almost all of them).

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    1. I still valued the poem, but I thought it was cursed so I had to set it free in the trash.

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  2. Great!!! Love it! Yes, we are of the same vein today, for sure! Though I'd say you've got me beat in the poetical stakes. Beautifully written!

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    1. I'd say we're tied in the poetical sweepstakes! Thanks!

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  3. It is hard to accept one's own flaws, fallibility and stupid mistakes. Your poem asks for a re-examination, but also reminds me that we do things in the moment in response to other things which have been done to us. I wonder if the faithless woman kept the poem as a reminder of her own regret.

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    1. I'm sure her husband made her destroy, after she told him that I raped her and then he came looking to kill me. (1994 was a bad year.) Thanks for your comment.

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  4. Oh. This is good. But, oh boy, what did it say?? I'd search through the wadded candy wrappers to find it.

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    1. It probably wasn't very good. It was a horrible time in my life and I didn't care who I hurt, and I *did* hurt the married woman. Most likely, better off forgotten that one.

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  5. I echo Debi in her statement, "powerful stuff," indeed, Mosk...I love the list-y ending effective and impacting. :)

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    1. Thanks, one of my favorite ways to write is as a list. :)

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  6. Whoa..!! Indeed... totally agree with others on this... the poem gives off a very powerful vibe :D
    Thanks for stopping by :)
    xoxo

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  7. WOWZERS!!!!!! Fantastic response to the prompt. You knocked it out of the park!!!

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  8. This poem really is like you showing us the contents of the wastebasket in the feelings you invoke here. Don't really wanna look but you've arranged things so interestingly.
    I hope this comes off as the compliment it's meant to be. This was an excellent write!

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  9. OMG! This is great! No matter who or what inspired it!

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  10. Love this, truly. Easy to relate, too easy! :) Sorry for any truth in these lines, but I'd say the regret lingers, and should be excised. Easier said than done, of course. Excise!
    Love it.

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  11. I like this. It makes me think of all the things that I've said that I wish I could take back.

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  12. Oh dear, those nasty moments — but all too human. Yes, there are some things best thrown away, on and off the paper.

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  13. Wow! This is some brutal honesty. I love it!

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  14. From laughing to studying to cringing. Yep. that was me while reading. Great work!

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  15. Hello? Buddha Moskowitz? My name is Millicent Peabody-Pendergast and I'm calling on behalf of the Smithsonian...

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  16. that is painful - and powerfullly written - sometimes it's tough to forgive ourselves..

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  17. I would guess we all have a few poems we have intentionally destroyed! But, as fate would have it, I bet those are the ones the Smithsonian is after.

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  18. Good riddance, it sounds like, on both accounts! Excellent response!

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  19. I think we all have a poem like this or a time like this - I can relate to both. And glad like you, to free myself from the curse of that poem/time, threw them away without regret.

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  20. regret - one bad poem weighs against so many other things. How little we see the cost of things. Fine write.

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  21. I love the personal share & there's always one that we threw away ~

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  22. I keep all my trash writes... along with holding onto shit I should've tossed ages ago... I think it's time to empty mine as well.. Banging piece :)

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  23. Your resentment is really broadcasted through those last few lines, damn. Learn from the guilt, man, that's the only way to put it behind you.

    Great piece.

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  24. Wow if ever I have read a poem that captured the emotion of neglect it is this one. Brilliant write!

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  25. Excellent..enjoyed this poem.

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  26. Oooh, this IS stingingly powerful!

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  27. Not sure where my comments go to--maybe with all the detritus you mentioned. Great poem--stinging-ly powerful.

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  28. I've typed my comment 3 times. Great poem.

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  29. This is utterly descriptive in the nasty, dirty way I think the narrator must have intended to go along with his shame and/or guilt for having ever written the poem in the first place: "sticky, spent condoms
    and other detritus
    born of regret."---LOVE IT!!

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  30. Ouch.. I hope I never find myself hating something that much.. Though some leave me quite indifferent after a while (probably why the Smithsonian will never call)

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  31. Only one? I'm impressed. : )

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