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Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Where is Sarah’s Miracle?

When the Lord’s Supper
is shared in our church
lights are dimmed,
and I was grateful
for the darkness,
because I was doubting,
despairing,
wondering why
the Lord
saw fit
to scratch
my daughter’s brain,
in utero, 
marking her with
cerebral palsy,
mild enough
to prompt the
well-meaning,
but ignorant
“well,
at least
it’s not
that bad.”

(Never mind that she
has been diagnosed
with depression
since she was 7;
anxiety and OCD
as a teen.)

I sat with my head
in my hands,
hiding my tears,
thinking,

“where is her miracle?
Do You even perform
miracles anymore?”

Sensing the usher
standing by,
I looked up
and it was Bill.

Bill should have died,
when he was driving
that two-lane highway
through the Badlands,
and was struck
head-on
by a Mack truck.

He was in
intensive care
for half a year,
rehabilitated
for a half more
and now
here he was,
smiling and offering me
God’s grace
in the form of
an unleavened cracker
and a plastic
cup of grape juice.

I ate the bread,
drank the juice,
and patiently
kept on
waiting
for her miracle.

15 comments:

  1. Absolutely remarkable...!!! Speechless..
    xoxo

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  2. All I know is that everyone i truly admire has been through all kinds of shit in their lives. Trust, despite appearances, is the best i can offer.

    ps--Why is it always a Mack truck? Don't Peterbilts ever hit anyone?

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  3. extremely touching. tears prickle at the corners of my eyes.

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  4. Powerful and I pray she gets one! This read like a story that haunts and lingers and we hope and pray she receives God's grace~

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  5. I may never understand certain mysteries, but I do know truth visits from time to time, like here, in your pen. ~

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  6. I had a student in one of my classes who told me that he had a head-on run-in with a Mack truck. He remember's nothing of that day (my BIL who crashed his airplane had the same experience) of the accident. It took him and my BIL a lot of time to recover. My BIL still experiences loss of memory problems, short term is the worst.
    I hope your daughter's experience so far will be the worst that she will have. My next hope is that she will finally recover or adapt well enough to have a nice story like those three have to tell.
    ..

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  7. Such personal thoughts set in the form of poetry seem to ask only that they be read. It would be an intrusion to comment on content but this was a powerful reading experience.

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  8. I love the quietness and directness with which you tell this.

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  9. May the wait be fruitful... ♥

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  10. Thanks for stopping by :D
    xoxo

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  11. This is filled with such raw and honest emotion, a felt poem for certain.

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  12. The honesty of this piece must cause each of us to reflect on gifts, blessings, challenges and acceptance. A strong write.

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  13. I've had similar thoughts about my daughter and this made me cry a little.

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  14. Thank you for this poem.

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