Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Even She Deserved Her Dignity

There were tales about her,
rumors and gossip:
she doted on the
decrepit star,
plied him with compliments
and sexual pleasure,
orchestrated his return
to public life and relevancy
as his days waned.

A friend of mine
who also liked
Hollywood’s dark side,
worked in a mental hospital
in Norwalk, California.

Once night she smuggled
contraband out of the hospital
she knew I would appreciate.

I looked at the photo ID
and I confirmed:
yes, that was her.

She gave me the card,
knowing I’d appreciate
it’s macabre and unique value.

I looked at her face:
crone’s wild hair,
wide blue eyes,
weather-beaten skin,
and wondered
about each ignoble step
that led her to that place.

I stashed the card

Through the years,
I learned when the star
she was kicked out of the house
where his children decided
she had milked his fortune
for too long.

Without an income
or an address,
she descended into a world
from which she never

I don’t know
if she really
was his savior,
his paramour,
his twisted puppeteer,
and probably
never will.

Years later,
I found the card
I’d stashed away,
with the shallow hope
I could maybe sell it
to an even more callous
and selfish freak
than I.

But I threw it away.

I no longer
wanted the proof,
the indictment,
of her insanity,
her weakness.

Whoever she was,
she was a daughter,
maybe a sister,
maybe even
a mother,
and even she deserved
her dignity,
her privacy,

even if the rest
of the world
thought she was
just a starfucker.


  1. Love your storytelling. I kept imaging Bette Davis in the role.

    1. Thanks. You're close, but the real person was exclusively backstage.

  2. So true! No matter how people are like or which background they come from.. they deserve respect and have their dignity. Beautifully executed!

    Lots of love,

  3. Anonymous5:50 PM

    The mind is a delicately balanced thing... you're absolutely right, they do need their respect and dignity, no matter what. Nicely done.

    1. Yes, it's easy to forget that everyone is someone's baby.Thank you.

  4. Very true, no matter who we are, we all deserve love and respect. Nicely written.

    1. Thank you, Suzy, for your kind words.

  5. No matter what you might have done, you pay for that but not for everything else. Your tale from glamour's backstreats is an insight that shoul never be pandered..

    1. Thanks, I appreciate your kind words and insight.

  6. "and even she deserved
    her dignity,
    her privacy,"

    the essence of humanity Buddah

    much love...

    1. Much love back and, yes, it's important to always find that humanity in everyone.

  7. A sad story from many angles.

  8. Gosh I really like this story. It brings up a lot of different questions for me, especially about the narrator and his/her relation to the woman. Fascinating! I love this line, which I read as of the galaxy variety:
    she doted on the
    decrepit star,
    And I just have to say, I have never heard anyone else use the term "starfucker" and feel a bond with you about that. Haha! :)

    1. Thanks, usually I refrain from profanity, but that is how is she thought off during his life.

    2. Thanks, usually I refrain from profanity, but that is how is she thought off during his life.