The Lady Who Never Says No
whispers that no one will
ever know.
She's all dressed up
for the holidays
like a call-girl,
wearing her best
skin-tight
electro-amphetamine
frosting.
She knows how
to make that sound
with her perfectly
lipsticked
mouth
that makes even the
most innocent utterance
sound slutty
and tempting.
She's giving me that
"Take Me into
That Darkened Corner
and Do Whatever
You Want" look
and she's right
no one will ever know,
but I know me.
And one time
will tumble into 20,
then into a hundred,
and we'll go at it
cheap and angry
in my car
in the far end of
the Wal-Mart parking lot,
and then I'll be
sucking down mouthwash
before coming home,
and I probably
will only stop
when the red and blue lights
stop me,
and I lose my license
for a year.
Then,
everyone will know.
Fuck,
just keep on walking.
For Christ's sake,
it's just one aisle in the grocery store.
After 26 years,
ain't you got over her yet?
That temptation so hard to get over (do we really really want it ??)... and there at the grocery store we have to face the past.
ReplyDeleteThere isn't any doubt ... I want the feeling but not the payment due. Thanks.
DeleteI love this description of alcoholism: it's gritty, dirty, sin city in all the right ways.
ReplyDeleteThank you - I began drinking at Christmastime in 1987, so this time of the year is especially a challenge.
DeleteIt's never pretty and always with us.
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting.
This is a tough poem...wonderfully written.
ReplyDeleteVery enticing that one drink. Your account could have been literal, it was written so well. My uncle always said if he would try to drink in moderation he would become an alcoholic. I don't know why he thought that.
ReplyDelete..
My son has recently made it through three years of sobriety--I hope he can follow your example and sustain that most difficult achievement--I don't think anyone who hasn't been there has any idea of what it entails, but I respect and admire anyone who can walk by that Lady, and refuse her so readily available charms which lead to a place so far different than the pleasure she falsely promises. This is a very vivid and real poem, and excellent work with the metaphor, Mosk.
ReplyDeleteI've not read a better description of those moments of temptation for an addict!
ReplyDeleteI'd say go to another store, but that ain't no cure. Umph. Here's praying the push is greater than the pull.
ReplyDeleteExcellent poem on a tough subject.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, understood. More than I'd like to admit. That lady, she tempts!
ReplyDeleteLove so much about this. So real. I feel the struggle, the pull. It's visceral. Nicely done.
ReplyDelete