"These aren't poems. They're more like long-form fortune cookies."
Well, how can you go wrong using the word 'miscreant' in a poem :)
I hate when that happens!
How irritating to have that happen... usually it is a phone.
Yes, it does break it ~
Beats than having a giggling fit at a job talk. Someone else's. (I don't know if that made it better or worse.) I like how you shattered out of the mock-this-is-a-serious-haiku tone with a final line that's extra(uncontrollably) long.